Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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