Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

69

What's not red? No tomatoes.

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

nice shorts.

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

I'm gay. Great me too.

Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

Fruitcake

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

Women rights.

What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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