why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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