How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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This post contains NOTHING.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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