Got milk? No.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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throbbing slobber

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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The WNBA

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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