A fat man buys a salad

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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the WNBA

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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cheese

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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