What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

What did the mole say? Nothing

Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

penis

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

What's brown a sticky? -A stick

What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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