ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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hahaha

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I love boobs

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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Aodhan Hearty

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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28

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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