what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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A Jew returns change.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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