husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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your face.

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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