what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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Hi poop!

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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