Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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I have no joke. u mad?

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A Jew returns change.

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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