Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

if it's friday, it must be China

Dear John,

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

69

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

I have read and agree to terms of service.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...