Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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