Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

whats round and like a ball a ball

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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