i have 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Obamacare!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I LIKE TURLES.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Justin Littleton getting laid.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops