what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops