How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

Nickelback.

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

pubic lice.

how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

What break when you talk?

Baseball

Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Want to hear an anti-joke?

Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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