What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Dead babies.

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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God.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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