Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Baseball

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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penisface

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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