Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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I love boobs

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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