husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Google Doodles

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What break when you talk?

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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