What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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i have 2 penises

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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your life

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Obamacare!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops