Simon Cowell's hair is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

i am predestal

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the mole say? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops