Oliver's friends

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

Dead babies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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