Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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I don't get it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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. Deez nuts Ok

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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a black father

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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