A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a glue factory..

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call Obama? - the president

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

did you ever see a butter fly?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops