A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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You're so straight!

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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