Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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Women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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