Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Penis

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Real jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops