Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

Knock Knock. Go away!

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

minorities

What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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