if it's friday, it must be China

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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The WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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