What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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