Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Justin Littleton getting laid.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

thumb_up thumb_down +16

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

womans rights

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops