Niko isnt a mexican douche

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two women were sitting in silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Mmmm, donuts

thumb_up thumb_down +35

this website...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

the joke below me is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops