What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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