A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

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i fondle myself every night....

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wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

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marble

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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69

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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