why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Yo mama so fat she died

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops