Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The geese of Growmore

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what is patrick wilson? smart

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

josh simpson has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops