What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

Dear John,

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

ur mother

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

throbbing slobber

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...