Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

What did the mole say? Nothing

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

the WNBA

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

I had a dream I watched Inception.

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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