A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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The WNBA

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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