How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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