How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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A van drives into a car.

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hi

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Got milk? No.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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