How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

thumb_up thumb_down +69

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Got milk? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

what did the man say to the other man? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +49

haha.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

barack osama

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +45

69

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Niko isnt a mexican douche

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

thumb_up thumb_down +43

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops