What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Dear John,

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

thumb_up thumb_down -13

if it's friday, it must be China

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

I have read and agree to terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops