"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

if it's friday, it must be China

Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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