Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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Dead babies.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Obamacare!

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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womans rights

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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