A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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penis

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops