There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

9/11/01 walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Women's Golf

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I love boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A fat man buys a salad

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops