What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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A bar walks into your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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