Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Penis

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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