why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

An Irishman stays home

When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

Bing

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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