husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

Lets make like trees and stand still

What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

okay.....

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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