Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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Got milk? No.

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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...Jack Vale

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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I am black.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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