An Irishman stays home

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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steves legs

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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What break when you talk?

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. Deez nuts Ok

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Bing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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