Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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A man walks into a bar.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops