Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

anus soup

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

Guess what? Chicken butt

If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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