How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

thumb_up thumb_down -54

what is brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

thumb_up thumb_down -88

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops