what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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9/11

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Real jokes.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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