Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

this website...

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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