It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

newt gingrich

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

Lacrosse

Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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