Brittney Spears

I had a dream I watched Inception.

How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

penis

What is 6 plus 9? 15

Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...