Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Mmmm, donuts

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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