KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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jack shine has boobs

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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the WNBA

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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