9/11/01 walks into a bar

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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