Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

Whoa! A talking carrot!

Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

Pandas Everywhere!!!

What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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