What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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...Jack Vale

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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The WNBA

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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