A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

I dislike old people.

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

Niko isnt a mexican douche

why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

The WNBA

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

Whats long and hard? a pole

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

Robin, get in the car.

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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