Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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69

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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