What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Women's rights

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Your life That's the joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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