25

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -97

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops