What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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9/11

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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