Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Women's rights

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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