One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

gays

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

God is religiously proven to be real

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

Knock Knock! Come in.

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

Where else? The junk yard

You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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