What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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a horse walks into a barn

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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beiber i straight

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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steves legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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