They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

Why Because

Ben is gay

come along children

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

What is big and white, not the moon CC

A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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