If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

thumb_up thumb_down -135

What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +60

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +48

69

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what is patrick wilson? smart

thumb_up thumb_down +40

If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops