DANA

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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jack shine has boobs

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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