Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +59

I am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I dislike old people.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Niko isnt a mexican douche

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

That's what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

nice shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats long and hard? a pole

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops