Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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I am black.

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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haha.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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