Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

A homeless person dies.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

How do you make a grilled cheese for a black guy? Butter two pieces of bread, place two slices of any kind of cheese in between the pieces of bread, then fry it in a pan with butter.

Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

. Deez nuts Ok

What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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