what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

SAY

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

Guess what? Chicken butt

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

What's brown and sticky? A stick

How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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