A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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25

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What's 6+2? 16

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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if it's friday, it must be China

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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