Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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hi

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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