Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

SPAMS!!!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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