james schmitt whats your last name

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69

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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I dislike old people.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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The geese of Growmore

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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