three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Myspace

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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I won the game.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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