ur mother

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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