What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is Jason? Black.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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I can't think of a joke!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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