What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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