I am black.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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