Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

A baby seal walks into a club

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

penis

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

Herman Cain

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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