What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Women's Golf

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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