Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what is white and sticky? glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Herman Cain

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops