say it aloud and fast: •im sofa king stew ped •ice bank mice elf •alpha Q •mike hunt •mike ock

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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How many militant feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, one to change the bulb and another to suck my dick.

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Dinosaur!

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what did batman day to robin? get in the car robin.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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I would write a joke, but it wouldn't be funny

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What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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A jew walks into an Oven....

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, which would e very unsafe to do.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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