Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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I know you are but what am I? A queer.

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What's the difference between a kleenex and a man? One absorbs your tears while the other makes you cry.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

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Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

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Call me Mr. Flinstone, for that is my surname.

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I'm Halarious.

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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What's the similarity between a plum and an elephant? Both are purple, except for the elephant.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

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why did the ginger have no friends? he was wearing skechers

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops