There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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Dinosaur!

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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A guy walks into a store and buys a sandwich.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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I'm Halarious.

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Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

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Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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What's the difference between a kleenex and a man? One absorbs your tears while the other makes you cry.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

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Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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