Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

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What's the difference between a kleenex and a man? One absorbs your tears while the other makes you cry.

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

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what's funnier than Norm Mcdonald? EVERY THING

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What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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So there are 2 ninjas in a dojo, The first ninja turns to the second ninja, and says something in Japanese

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

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What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

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What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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