A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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I know you are but what am I? A queer.

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Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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Dinosaur!

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch, he says, I did not see that bar there."

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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What's worse then the holocaust? Sphagetti trousers of mordor

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What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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Q. Why did the sheep die? A. I pushed it off a bridge

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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want to no whats funny what your mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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The horse's name was Friday

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He is so gay that he likes penis.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Roses re red Violets are black You'd look better with a knife in your back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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