A man walks into a bar and orders some grapes. The bartender says he does not have any grapes available. The man leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Knock knock. Who's? There Where? Right here.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +91

What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why Did The Girl Fall Off The Swing. IDK maybe she fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

thumb_up thumb_down -47

So there are 2 ninjas in a dojo, The first ninja turns to the second ninja, and says something in Japanese

thumb_up thumb_down +84

whats bonged in and looks like milk? harry after some cani

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what's funnier than Norm Mcdonald? EVERY THING

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why does kelly keep going on about breasts ? cus shes into chicks !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops