A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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Haiku's can be fun But they don't always make sense Refrigerator

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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what's funnier than Norm Mcdonald? EVERY THING

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Call me Mr. Flinstone, for that is my surname.

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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Knock knock. Who's? There Where? Right here.

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Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? Because he was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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