A man walks into a bar. "Ouch, he says, I did not see that bar there."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +169

Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

He is so gay that he likes penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Roses re red Violets are black You'd look better with a knife in your back

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are anti jokes funny....cause morons come up with them...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This, is indeed the funniest joke you will ever read, honest! "shows joke on written paper"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a couple argue and spend the night 96ing each other

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, which would e very unsafe to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

whats bonged in and looks like milk? harry after some cani

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You wanna know what sucks about your face? . . Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris was a famous actor that starred in Walker, Texas Ranger and Missing in Action. He is a normal person, just like you and me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy walks into a baker, asks for a loaf of bread. The baker enquires "White or brown?" to which the boy replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops