Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

Chuck Norris was a famous actor that starred in Walker, Texas Ranger and Missing in Action. He is a normal person, just like you and me.

What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

Roses are red violets are blue I'm bored of this how about you?

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

A man walks into a bar and orders some grapes. The bartender says he does not have any grapes available. The man leaves.

Why did Ralph fall off the swing He was distracted because he had a perfect view of the twin towers when 9-11 was happening

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

I'm Halarious.

Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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