What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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Roses re red Violets are black You'd look better with a knife in your back

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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A man came up to me and said," you suck" You know what I told him "YOU SUCK!"

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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He is so gay that he likes penis.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

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A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

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Q. Why did the sheep die? A. I pushed it off a bridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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