What's red ad spins in circles? A baby with it's head nailed to the ground.

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

Knock knock! "Who's there?" "It's me, xx" "Okay, come in."

Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

Knock knock. Come in.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

Q. Why did the man crash the car? A. Because the driver was a bling man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

A horse walks into a bar, The bar tender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has terminal cancer"

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A boy walks into a baker, asks for a loaf of bread. The baker enquires "White or brown?" to which the boy replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike."

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

why did my girlfriend get pregnet? i didn's use a condom, and my semen entered her long muscular tube, also known as a vagina.

A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

Wanna hear an inside joke? Cancer.

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

A women leaves the kitchen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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