Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh.. Okay.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot.

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Call me Mr. Flinstone, for that is my surname.

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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

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Knock knock. Come in.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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Robert dupras dick size :3

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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Knock Knock Dude i am not going to answer the door

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Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

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A boy walks into a baker, asks for a loaf of bread. The baker enquires "White or brown?" to which the boy replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike."

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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