A horse walks into a bar, The bar tender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has terminal cancer"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

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Robert dupras dick size :3

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Why couldn't Tommy pick up the bunny? Because the bunny was schizophrenic and Tommy wasn't real.

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What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

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why did my girlfriend get pregnet? i didn's use a condom, and my semen entered her long muscular tube, also known as a vagina.

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Wanna hear an inside joke? Cancer.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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The song Friday Rules!

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot.

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What's red ad spins in circles? A baby with it's head nailed to the ground.

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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How do you divide 3426 by 78.6? With a calculator

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

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Q. Why did the man crash the car? A. Because the driver was a bling man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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