why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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what do you call your cousin drew? drouchebag

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A horse walks into a bar, The bar tender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has terminal cancer"

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? A healthy, balanced diet consisting of all food groups, unless they are vegetarian or vegan, hence they will not consume any meats or animal products.

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Why couldn't Tommy pick up the bunny? Because the bunny was schizophrenic and Tommy wasn't real.

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What do you call a Jewish police officer? It depends on if you are Mel Gibson or not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? While I can never be entirely sure, I would assume that there was something on the other side which has peaked its interest.

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What's red ad spins in circles? A baby with it's head nailed to the ground.

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your gay

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What is the difference in a crow. There is none. Both legs are of equal length.

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A POW is sitting in his cell when the guard walks up to him. He says "You may choose one of these tortures, drowning or listening to Rebecca Black." The POW chose Rebecca Black, for even though he disliked her music, it was much better than getting drowned

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Why did Sally have a bad vacation? Sally was shot at by a sniper.

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What did the clown say to the other clown? I was not present at this conversation, and therefore I was not able to catch what they were saying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the black men.

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What happened to the woman who was raped? She was mentally scarred for life and finds it hard to trust men.

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What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

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The song Friday Rules!

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Q. Why did the man crash the car? A. Because the driver was a bling man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh.. Okay.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a person of Jewish descent and the other is a device for traversing waterways akin to the raft.

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why did my girlfriend get pregnet? i didn's use a condom, and my semen entered her long muscular tube, also known as a vagina.

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What's the differrence between a park bench and a black person... A park bench can support a family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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