I'm Halarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

thumb_up thumb_down -162

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

http://www.youtube.com/user/SWkangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats blue and smells like grass? Boise States football field

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

thumb_up thumb_down +200

Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A guy walks into a store and buys a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

So these two guys are in this barn f!@#$%^ this owl! no terms of service were available but i posted anyway cuz i just didnt want the best anti to be missed!

thumb_up thumb_down -156

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops