Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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How many militant feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, one to change the bulb and another to suck my dick.

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What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

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Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

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http://www.youtube.com/user/SWkangaroo

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Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

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Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

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What's the difference between a kleenex and a man? One absorbs your tears while the other makes you cry.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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