A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

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Robert dupras dick size :3

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Knock Knock Dude i am not going to answer the door

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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I would write a joke, but it wouldn't be funny

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Whats blue and smells like grass? Boise States football field

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So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

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Q: What has two wheels and is not funny? A:Ryan Vallee on a segway -Ryan V

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What did the creepy old man do to the child? Took him to baseball practice

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So these two guys are in this barn f!@#$%^ this owl! no terms of service were available but i posted anyway cuz i just didnt want the best anti to be missed!

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How do you divide 3426 by 78.6? With a calculator

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

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Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

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What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Dinosaur!

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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