what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

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what did the goat say to the shepherd? goats can't talk.

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What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Haiku's can be fun But they don't always make sense Refrigerator

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High school gym class.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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