yo mamas like a spider always getting wrapped up in her own cu*

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

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Chuck Norris was a famous actor that starred in Walker, Texas Ranger and Missing in Action. He is a normal person, just like you and me.

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

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Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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