What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

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This, is indeed the funniest joke you will ever read, honest! "shows joke on written paper"

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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You wanna know what sucks about your face? . . Everything.

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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Horse tits

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A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, which would e very unsafe to do.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

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why did the little boy cry? some gang killed his family infront of him.

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High school gym class.

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whats better than sex? cookies

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Chuck Norris was a famous actor that starred in Walker, Texas Ranger and Missing in Action. He is a normal person, just like you and me.

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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