Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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9/11

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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A bar walks into your mother.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops