What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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Women's rights

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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9/11

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Herman Cain

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Pickle!

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Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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