- Anti Joke

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

What's 6 + 9? 15.

What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

Men's rights

sixty....eight.

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

beiber i straight

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

PENIS

Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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