One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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^that joke's not funny

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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