What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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thomas hall= fuckin dikc

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Lacrosse

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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