Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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a mexican, an asian and a black are all in a car, who's the driver? their friend bill who offered to take them to the upcoming three days grace concert.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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poop.........

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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