Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

thumb_up thumb_down +35

nathan palmer has a big head !

thumb_up thumb_down +35

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

thumb_up thumb_down +33

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I won the game.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down +31

AROUND

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Pickle!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops