Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops