Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

why do black people like basketball? because it envolves running shooting and stealing

I love boobs

Nickelback

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

What is 6 plus 9? 15

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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