What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

thumb_up thumb_down -10

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

but there is a road to the super market

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +57

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

^that joke's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops