what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

Women's rights

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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