What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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minorities

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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What will happen when a black person die they die

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops