DONALD TRUMP DIES

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Lacrosse

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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