What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Baseball

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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gay marriage.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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