whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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hahaha

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8====D {(0)}

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

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Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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arse

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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