What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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28

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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jack shine has boobs

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Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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Brittney Spears

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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gay marriage.

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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