Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

9/11

Real jokes.

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

a banana

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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