there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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8====D {(0)}

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SAY

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Obama.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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