Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Knock Knock Come in!

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your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Women's rights

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops