Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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^that joke's not funny

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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