Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

Real jokes.

9/11

Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

a banana

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

where's waldo? in a picture book.

What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

A bar walks into your mother.

Slavery

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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