Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

what is brown and sticky? a stick

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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