What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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Obama

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops