A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Small breasts.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I had a dream I watched Inception.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops