Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Oliver's friends

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What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Small breasts.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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Roses are red, stones are gray, this poem is obvious, YOU DONT SAY??

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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