Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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What do black men do in the South? Hang around

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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