What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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