A man walks into a bar.

“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

i am predestal

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

Hello

minorities

Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

Nickelback

A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

A baby seal walks into a club.

Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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