Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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I can't think of a joke!

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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Benevolent villain.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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