Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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^that joke's not funny

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You're so straight!

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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