You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Chocolate tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

69

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops