if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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Benevolent villain.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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