Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

thumb_up thumb_down +15

womans rights

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops