What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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barack osama

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Why....... Because.

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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Women's rights

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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