What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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No.

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69

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

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So one time this woman was learning...

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Mexicans working in an office

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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