Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

AROUND

What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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