What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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nbjhfghl

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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im jewish

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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josh simpson has cancer

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Pickle!

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A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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