How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My dad beats my mom At checkers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

God is religiously proven to be real

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Brittney Spears

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This joke isnt funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. F uck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops