What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man with leprosy say to the prostitute? Keep the tip

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

thumb_up thumb_down -6

25

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hello world

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops