Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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i am predestal

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Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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8====D {(0)}

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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johann grayson being liked

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

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a horse walks into a barn

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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DANA

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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