Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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SPAMS!!!

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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