what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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What time is it? 10:58

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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DANA

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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a horse walks into a barn

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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Brittney Spears

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whats straight as a fudge packer kyle grund

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops