I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

DANA

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

God is religiously proven to be real

My dad beats my mom At checkers

Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Brittney Spears

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

This joke isnt funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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