Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hi my name is? joe

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. F uck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69

thumb_up thumb_down +2

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops