Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

thumb_up thumb_down +41

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +37

nbjhfghl

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops