If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops