Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Exactly what?

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A black person in the NHL

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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jokes r dumb

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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