Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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AROUND

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops