Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

thumb_up thumb_down +25

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +19

In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops