Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

Jasper sucks.

Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

cheese

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

Men's rights

i like potatoes

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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