What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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Rob Bell

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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