Three men walked into a metal pole

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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Kate

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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