A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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Rob Bell

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Why....... Because.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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