Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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Penis

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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i am predestal

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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