What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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why did the mexican slave have cuts and bruises all over her. She fell off her skateboard... Another joke by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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