Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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gays

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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A ginger rapping.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Mexicans working in an office

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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