There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

why did the mexican slave have cuts and bruises all over her. She fell off her skateboard... Another joke by rangler. thumbs up for more.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

thumb_up thumb_down -85

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +60

...Jack Vale

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

thumb_up thumb_down +54

So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

thumb_up thumb_down +50

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Chocolate tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops