why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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i am predestal

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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