A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

what is white and sticky? glue.

There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

a banana

What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

The size of Idris Elba's penis

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

milly, milly, milly, cat

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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