A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Myspace

thumb_up thumb_down +45

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

thumb_up thumb_down +41

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +37

nbjhfghl

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

thumb_up thumb_down +31

RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops