A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

Women's rights

An iguana walks out of a bar

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

What is 69? A two digit number.

Freedom of Speech

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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