Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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