A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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poopy is poopy

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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