Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

How many light bulbs? 1

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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