How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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hi

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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