A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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