why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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