What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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NEVER

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops