What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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