What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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every knight i see an owl at window

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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