Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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