A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

thumb_up thumb_down -12

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hers a joke... japanese people

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops