What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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minorities.....

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops