Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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