How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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