- Anti Joke

Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

I saw a dog pick up a dead bird with its mouth. Crazy cause the bird had ants and maggots all over it, it smelled bad. Well anyways the dog drops it, and he stares at it for a few seconds. Then another dog comes and tilts his head. I'm guessing he's confused and is like "why did you pick that gross thing up? " So they both leave the bird there, in the first dog's owner's backyard. (He was on the cemented porch, not the grass. Just so you can picture it better) Okay well the two dogs go to the park, hoping to get some action with other dogs. Yeah, they were out of luck. There was no one there cause it was Christmas Eve. Who goes to the park on Christmas Eve? Do you? I know I don't. So the two dogs walk out of the park, heads down because well they're sad. On their way out, they see a dog with a bird in its mouth. They keep going because the dog was ugly, heading to the neighborhood going to the first dog's owner's backyard. They take a sip of water from the stainless steel bowl, munch out on some dog food. The dog food was from a 50 pound bag of dog food, it had all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals dogs need to be healthy. Oh and the brand was Iams. Pedigree is for owners that obviously don't care for their dogs cause Pedigree sucks. The owner of the first dog bought the food at the nearest PETCO for around 30$ That's crazy. 30$ for dog food. That's a good owner spending good money on his dog. I would do the same. So when the dogs were done eating, the first dog looks for the dead bird. (The bird the first dog had picked up at the beginning of the story) Turns out the bird is missing. Where could it have gone? The two dogs look everywhere. Then after 20 minutes the second dog says "Hey! We're being clumsy. The third dog had a bird exactly like yours! " So they run to the park hoping they'll find the third dog. He wasn't in anyone's sight until suddenly a familiar voice coming from behind says "Looking for this, Bimbos? What fool would leave such a delicious bird like this in their owner's backyard? " The first dog says "Hey! Give me back my bird! " The third dog refuses. So they begin to fight. Then the second dog snatches the bird And runs away with the bird. The two fighting dogs are still fighting till they notice the horrible stench is gone. The second dog isn't anywhere in sight. That shit cray.

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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