A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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