Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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