How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

outside your comfort zone

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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