What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops