A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

what is worse than a guy pissed?

kieran is a homosexual

a blind man walks into a wall

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

i have to pee out my ass.

a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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