Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

Slavery

Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

Women's rights

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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