Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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Rob Bell

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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You're so straight!

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no

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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Black people are innocent.

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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That's what he said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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