Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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This joke isnt funny.

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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