Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Why....... Because.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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Penis

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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No.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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