how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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I hate you.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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