why did the man die? he got shot

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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