Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

minorities

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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