In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops