why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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