theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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