Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops