A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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