Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops