Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops