What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...