Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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I'm Polish.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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