boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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anti jokes are really funny

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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