What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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