Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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A gay man watches football.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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