What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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human centipede

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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9/11 my birthday

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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