How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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69.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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