What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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