What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops