The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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