A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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