How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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