Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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penis. nuff said.

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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