What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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