A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops