Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops