Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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9/11 my birthday

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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