Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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