what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Potassium? K.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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What's white and gluey Glue

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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