What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops