What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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