A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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