What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops