Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops