Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

poop

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...