Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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