What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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