Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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