Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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