Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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