How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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