Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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i'm hard

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops