(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A young baby died.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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