A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Death by kayak

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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