Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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How you know when dislextic

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops