What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Whats 1+1? window!

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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guess what what ...

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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