Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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