person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops