Two baby seals walk into a club.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops