What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

A baby seal walks into a club.

your skull would make a nice pen holder

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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