A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

This is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Take part of what?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

thumb_up thumb_down -22

kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops