Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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