A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops