What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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