A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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