Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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human centipede

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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