Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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