so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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