A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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