I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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