A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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Do you play piano? No

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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