You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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