I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops