Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

What's upside down? umop apisdn

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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