what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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I don't get it

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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