Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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