Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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