knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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