A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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