What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Women's Rights

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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heat!

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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